A Year

What else can I say. Our hearts break all over again with the anniversary of your death. We miss you so much.

For us who are hurting, here is a video I have been meaning to make for quite some time. It includes some photos from the funeral and such, and then some photos of how we chose to celebrate Phillip's birthday.

(I find myself lacking words when my heart hurts so much)

I'm sorry if it does not work. It wasn't viewable at Youtube due to the music.

Happy Birthday Little Brother

 Happy Birthday!

Your first birthday to come since you left us. It's been five months and it doesn't hurt any less. How I wish I could call and tell you Happy Birthday, to tell you that you are old, and how I wish you really could grow old with all of us. 

Some birthdays past....

1981

Because my mom did not get Phillip until he was just over a year old, she didn't have the first birthday photos. But this is one of the first photos of her and Phillip after she got him, and not too long after he turned one. Such a cute little boy!

Phillip's 2nd Birthday

Since my mom did not get to to do the big first birthday shebang, she went all out for his second, you know, letting him make a mess of himself with cake and frosting and all!

Phillip and Heather
1982

Phillip's 3rd Birthday

(with Heather and Rachel)

Phillip with his E.T. cake

One of those rare birthday photos with mom in it.

(because if you know my mom, she was always behind the camera and not in front of it) 

(Heather, Phillip, Lea, and Rachel)

 How I remember how much Phillip loved that coat. I remember him wearing it around the house and not wanting to take it off.

Phillip with his tractor. This was an awesome present from Grandma Lee and Aunt Terri (his birthmother). It was a pedaling John Deere tractor. He was not fond of sharing it. It was heavy duty and lasted through many  paint jobs and even more children!

(with his sisters in the background, Sharlie, Heather, and Rachel)

(1983)

Phillip's Fifth Birthday

It looks like Heather helped in the making of the cake, and Danny and Phillip enjoyed the aftermath!

He had a Super Man cake (I love that Christmas wrapping paper!)

More Fifth Birthday pics

Top: Heather, Phillip and Brent with the cake

Middle: Rachel, Heather, Danny, and Phillip, checkingout a new He-Man toy (I think!)

Bottom: Phillip opening a present with a He-Man book already opened.

Phillip LOVED his He-Man stuff soooo much! He had tons of it too. He had the Castle GreySkull and tons of figures. He always loved all things muscle!

(1985)

Phillip's 6th birthday 

Blowing out the candles

(in the background, Calvin on my hip-Rachel, Heather, and on the side, Erik, Brent and the back of Danny's head, I think)

Erik. Phillip, and Danny

with party guests: (Mike, Zak, Jeannie, Johnny, Erik, and Janelle)

Flying a kite he got for his birthday. He was so excited about that kite that he was out flying it (with Heather's help) before the party was even over.

Phillip trying out his new roller skates that Joyce (a family friend, and Danny's aunt) gave him for a birthday present. His shirt says, "If it weren't for recess, I'd quit school". I remember him loving that shirt and wearing it a lot.
(1986)

Phillip's 7th Birthday

Opening a few present his birthday morning in our mom's room.
(with Calvin and Sharlie on the sidelines)
1987

Phillip's 8th Birthday

Phillip with cake and presents
(with Sharlie and Calvin in the background)

Phillip with a gift from Grandma Lee, scriptures with his name on them and a CTR ring. That would make this his 8th birthday also, and I think this is taken at Grandma Lee's house in Lava.
1988

Decorating for Phillip's birthday

Showing off his birthday loot , some tools of his own!

I am pretty sure this is the year that Charlie built him a basketball hoop and backboard to hang on the house. 

(we think this is 1990)

Phillip's 15th Birthday

With some basketball cards, he was an avid sports card collector. I remember him spending lots of money on baseball and basketball cards. There was a card shop in Sandy Union Station (across from the Sandy Mall) that he would walk down to and spend his aluminum recycling money on.

My mom made this for Phillip one year for his birthday. She was very into ceramics and would make things for all us. This one is so fitting for Phillip. He was always our little puppy salesman. We had more than a few batches of puppies over the years, and as kids we got to sit outside the grocery store and try to sell them for $5 each. Phillip took such good care of the puppies, trying to ensure they went to a good home. And like the little boy in the statue, it was hard for him to part with every single puppy. He always always loved dogs. We are guessing he was in his early teens when she made this for him.

I know there are more than a few birthday years missing, I'm sure they will be found shortly after this birthday. My mom has sooooo many photos to sort through and find. I am amazed that she has found this many, really! We have always teased her about taking so many photos, but I know I am so grateful for that now. Hopefully I can keep posting photos, and we'll share those photos at another time.

As a kid Phillip said he would someday ride in a hot air balloon for his birthday, so we included this photo of a hot hair balloon flying close to our childhood home. I hope he spends his birthday watching lots of balloons floating and seeing how much all of his family and friends miss him.

Happy Birthday Terri

Today is my Aunt Terri's birthday. It is also the day before Phillip's birthday. I can only imagine how difficult it was to give birth as a teen mom. A year later she gave him to her sister Lea, my mom, to adopt and raise him. I know that it was a difficult decision, but I am thankful that she made that choice. Her choice gave me a little brother, one to play with and pick on, and talk to and tease, and most of all, a brother to love and to love me back.

We only have a few photos of Phillip with Terri, I hope that she has a few more. I am sure more will turn up over time, I wanted to share these few. I know I had at least one more, of Phillip and Terri when they worked at Ream's, but I've spent a few hours perusing photos, and I cannot find it anywhere. :(

Happy Birthday Terri. I hope that you are able to enjoy your birthday. You deserve it. I hope you know that I love you.

Snow!

We sure haven't had much of a winter this year. I sadly don't know how much Phillip liked the snow as an adult, but I am guessing not much the last few years with some of his health problems. But as a kid, I remember lots of times playing in the snow with him, and him often wanting me to join him when I did not want to, and I'm pretty sure I dragged him along sometimes when he was less than willing!

But just to give us all a little winter (that we probably haven't missed too much and some Phil (that we all have been missing terribly), here are the snow photos!

Phillip and I playing in the snow. I have vivid memories of him in that little white snow suit, and of my snow clothes here as well. Even at 2 he was a snow trooper! 

about 1982

Phillip playing around in the snow, notice the attached gun holster (he loved his guns to his last day). The dog in the background is the dumbest dog ever, Ty. Charlie had him when he married my mom. I don't think I was ever his fan.

Phillip, Johnny (a little boy my mom babysat for a few years and Phillip's good friend), and Sharlie making a snow something. :) 

about 1984

Phillip, Sharlie, and (I am guessing) Johnny again, around their little itty bitty snowman. 

My mom always had this huge wooden bin full of all winter items, hats, mittens, scarves, etc. And we usually had at least one winter coat (she gratefully accepted hand-me-downs and also saved from each kid), so it is fun to look back and remember so many of these winter items that we wore.

about 1984

Phillip and Danny dressed up for winter, even though there doesn't seem to be much there. And what a Phil expression is on his face there, I have seen that look many a time!

 about 1984

Phillip and some friends with their snowman (I'm guessing they had a little help! ha ha!)

about 1985

Phillip and Danny enjoying the snow (notice the GTO in the background, it was later my mom's, and I believe the beginning of Phillip's love for old cars!)

about 1986

There were many years that Phillip and I tried to make an igloo. We usually never made it past two or three rows high, but we still kept trying. I guess it was in the process that made it fun, we were spending time with each other with the same purpose, so less time for sibling rivalry.

 about 1987

Love this photo of our little Smith-Thayer gang! :) They were such good friends too all of us! We had a lot of fun even with such a small amount of snow with which to build our snowman!

about 1987

I love this photo, probably because I took it. This was as I was preparing to leave on a mission for my church. I was trying to take photos of all my family. This was at my aunt's house (Phillip's birth mom) and I had been snapping photos of my little cousin's Jordan and Sascha. I think I may have had all my siblings with me (yes, 6 of them including Phillip). Calvin was about 13 and being a punk, his usual. Phillip told him to knock it off or he would throw him in the snow, well of course, that was only a challenge to sweet Calvin. lol. Phillip came through on his promise and Calvin was none too happy about it. 

 Dec 1997

Funny how I don't seem to find many winter photos after 1987. I am sure my mom will come across them, the woman has a plethora of photos. We have all teased her about it over the years, but how grateful we are now, to see each and every photo of Phillip. (Thanks Mom!)

Or maybe Phillip didn't care much for winter after he got a little bit older. lol. But these were fun photos to find. His dog must have liked winter, because Phillip has a few shots with his dogs in the snow.