Happy Birthday Xander

Today is Phil's son's 3rd birthday.

 I know he would want to be there to see his little man growing up. It breaks my heart that he can't be. I look at my little boys and cannot imagine how hard it would be to not be there, how difficult for Xander's mom to raise him without his father's help, and how trying for Xander to not have his daddy there any longer.

My heart has been heavy much of the day, thinking of these things. I know his little mini-me had an awesome birthday party, and I am so happy for that.

Here are some photos of Phillip with his son...

I love this one because our father, Charlie would never have carried a baby in a baby carrier, so I love that Phillip is, and Xander looks so happy!

Some pics of him spending time with his little man. Phillip was not much of a smiler for photos, but I love that most of the photos of him smiling when he was older are the ones with his son. He was so proud of that boy!

I love these ones because it is one of the last times I saw Phillip, and also when I got to meet his son, the little boy he had told me so much about. This was at Trinity's 1st Birthday (July 2010). Xander was sure shy (runs in the family), but he sure clung to his daddy!

Add caption

 This is my favorite pic. Phil LOVED to play the guitar. As soon as he started learning in junior high, he would play a lot, for anyone. I love that this photo has him playing for his little man. It melts my heart every time I see it.

 And I also wanted to include this photo of Phillip as a little boy, because it reminds me of Xander.

 When my 6 year old saw it he was sure it was his little brother... and there is a resemblance in a few pics... do you see it?

Happy Birthday Xander! I hope you felt your daddy smiling down on you today (and always!)

Phillip's Honeyed Carrots

This is a yummy recipe that would be nice with any Thanksgiving platter. 

Phil's Honeyed Carrots

2 lbs baby carrots (or I have used regular carrots, cut into coins)

3/4 c. honey

1 1/4 c. butter

Combine butter and honey in saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Add carrots and reduce heat. Cover and simmer until carrots are crisp-tender (about 10 minutes). 

I have seen and tried other versions that include some lemon juice, apple juice, ginger, mint, etc. You can try many different variations and everyone I have tried, I liked. :)

Though this is not Phil's exact recipe, its close. Phillip took home ec in junior high, and learned he actually liked cooking. He would come home so excited to try his new recipes, and being always hungry kids, we never minded. This is one that he made that both my mom and I remembered, and have made more than a few times over the years.

My mom said when Phillip was first excited to make these she had her doubts, honey and carrots? Together? But she let him, and found it was a yummy combo. 

Its no wonder Phillip liked this recipe, as a boy he LOVED carrots. He was always snacking on a carrot out of the fridge. I liked them okay, but could never figure out why he liked them so much. Our mom always said it helped him to have such good eyesight, and she must have been right, for I had glasses at an early age, and he never did. 

Another recipe he learned in his home economics class was this one, or some variation of it. Recipe found here

Chocolate Waffles

Ingredients

1 1/2 c. flour

3 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 c. sugar

3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder

1 c. milk

2 eggs

4 tbsp butter, melted

Directions:
1.Preheat waffle iron. In a large mixing bowl stir together flour, baking powder, salt, sugar, and cocoa. Stir in like, eggs, and butter until mixture is smooth.
2. Spray pre-heated waffle iron with non-stick cooking spray. Pour mix onto waffle iron. Cook until golden brown. Serve hot with topping of your choice.




I haven't made this recipe, but as far as I can remember, it was pretty close to this one. It is also no wonder that he was excited to make waffles, because that was always his dad's specialty. Charlie loved to make Belgian waffles, it was the one time he would cook, and he was always so excited to have you try his many waffle variations. Anyhow... back to Phillip

He came home from school, and mixed up the batter, and put the waffle in our new Bugs Bunny waffle iron and made them. They looked really tasty, and I was eager for a taste. He gave me the first bite, and I thought I might die from the saltiness. It was a little REALLY salty. I tried my hardest to kindly tell him they were good, but too salty, and we tried to figure out why. We checked the recipe, and it called for 1 tsp of salt, and he was sure he had only put in 1 teaspoon. Finally, I had him show me the measuring spoon he used. It was a measuring spoon set that had spoons measurements on one end and cup measurements on the opposite end. He had actually put in 1 cup of salt! In his defense, the tiny divot on the opposite end looked more like a design than a teaspoon, and he was pretty new to cooking. He was not very happy with himself, and I can't remember if it was the same day or not, but he did make another batch that was very yummy!

Also, with Thanksgiving coming up, think of Phil as you eat your turkey, he LOVED him some deep fried turkeys. Apparently it was his specialty. I wish I would have had the chance to eat some of his turkey.

I wish we had some photos of him cooking or eating carrots or something, but as of now, we haven't found any. 

Though it is so hard to be without your loved ones during the holidays, especially those first ones, I am thankful this year. I am thankful that I had a little brother named Phillip. A brother that was a pain in my behind, a once close friend, a confidante, and also some comic relief. I am thankful that my aunt placed him for adoption, because otherwise we would have been cousins, but we would most likely not have been as close as we were. I am thankful for all the times we did get to spend together, and thankful that I have so many memories of him.

Love you and miss you!

Dress-Up

 

                                                                   Fireman Phil

Growing up we had a plethora of dress-up clothes. We had a huge laundry hamper overflowing with them, we had wigs, hats, old bridesmaids dresses, masks, and a menagerie of things we could use to make about any costume, and we all loved playing with them.

 

                                                                   Phillip as Zorro!

I think Phillip's favorite was his muscle shirts, he had more than a few over the years, because when he outgrew one, my mom would buy him another, because he used them ALL the time.

I was getting out the Halloween decorations this week, and there were a few scary Halloween masks in there. Somehow these do not frighten my twin toddlers at all. :) But it did remind me of a little prank that Phillip and I played on Sharlene. Shar could not have been more than 3, maybe closer to two. So I was about 7 or 8 and Phillip was 5 or 6.I was playing in the dress up clothes and put a netted wig across my face and had a bunch of other stuff on as well. I told Phillip, "I'm going to hide in your closet and scare Sharlie. You invite her in your room and then after a minute ask her to get something out of your closet for you." He happily obliged. Sharlie came in and I listened for a bit and then he sent her to get something out of the very full closet, so I was wedged behind some hanging clothes. As she got closer to me I jumped out and yelled. It worked VERY well. She ran out of the room screaming and crying and Phillip and I laughed and laughed, and then I got in a whole lot of trouble, but it was worth it. Ha ha!!

I included some Halloween and dress-up photos from over the years as well. As I remember, Phillip LOVED Halloween as a kid, I remember him being very excited about each costume, and with his extreme love of sweets, what is not to love about Halloween! :)

 I think this is probably one of Phillip's first times dressing-up. :) Here he is wearing a super cute cowboy vest and his momma's heels. (I have had the vest for a few years and needed to repair, it was going to be for my boys to wear, but now, it will be a special keepsake)

 

This is probably one of my very most favorite photos of Phillip. All dressed up in cowboy gear, just like his daddy. He was such a joyful little boy, as evidenced by the huge smile on his face. This is also one of the rare photos of Charlie smiling. Maybe that is where Phillip got that stoic looking face for all photos, with only rare smiles, because I remember Charlie doing the same thing, smiling and laughing, get out the camera, and the smile would disappear. :) Of course, there are photos of both of them smiling, they just seem harder to find.

Phillip playing cowboy with a friend (I'm not sure who, sorry!), in the forefront are Shar and Calvin.

This was a church Christmas party. Phillip is the cute little army guy on the left side. He is about 5 here. The rest in the photo are: Shar (Supergirl), Phillip, Karen (Heather's friend), Heather (both princesses), Danny Smith (a cowboy), Rachel (me, always a baby), and Erik Smith (also a cowboy).

 

Here is Phillip in his scarecrow costume, and Sharlie as a kitty. I think he is around 7 here. He was a good little scarecrow. :) We didn't usually have the money to buy costumes each Halloween, we went with what we had around the house and in the dress-up box. I don't think we even realized that buying a new costume at the store each year was a possibility. But Phillip always used his imagination and found something fun to wear.

 Here's another pic of Phillip the scarecrow with his very best childhood friend at the time, Danny. They were always arm in arm like that. I think they probably are again. Sadly Danny passed away about eleven years ago now.

I think these were Phillip's favorite pajamas ever. They were dracula p.j.'s, and he would definitely pretend to be dracula in them. He wore those things for years, long beyond the point when they actually fit him well. lol

Pictured above are: Phillip, our cousin Nicholas, Heather, Rachel, and Sharlie. Nic reposted this pic on facebook not quite a year ago, and his words, so sweet, just get me every time, "This is my my light!! us when we were young and everything is at our hands —" and " Phil look at this K you will be ok!!!!" 

Phillip LOVED having a karate outfit to wear. We never could afford those kind of extra curricular activities, but he sure would have loved it if he could have learned it. He always had a karate gi, when he outgrew on he got another for pajamas, and he wore them a ton!

 

This was probably Phillip's nicest costume. I think he is about 8 or so here. It was lovingly sewn by Terri, his birth mom. It was amazing! It was really nice and plush, and I know she put a lot of effort into it, I'm sure she put hours of sewing into it. I was always a little jealous of that costume. I knew that Terri had a special bond with Phillip because she had carried him and raised him until he was one, but I was still a little upset that she had made such a cool costume for him, and hadn't made one for me! I guess at 11 or so you just don't have the perspective to understand all of that.

Here is Phillip and his best childhood friend, B.J., they were beaten up soccer players that Halloween. Sharlie is a pirate in the background.

 And another with our soccer players, and B.J.'s little brother, Aaron (and Calvin's all time best friend). Sadly Aaron passed away just about a year before Phillip. How we miss them both so!

 

This was the year that I was in drama and we were learning stage make-up. I was so excited because we learned how to make fake beards. Phillip was a good little guinea pig for me, and let me make one for him. It took a fair amount of time, even though it looks like a big mess! Ha ha! I can't remember what Phillip was going to be with a cool beard, but well, the beard did not quite turn out as either of us planned, and I don't know that he really liked it, but he was such a good sport and sported it for Halloween. He decided to go with the crazy mess of a beard and be Moses! :) Calvin is with him wearing the Dinosaur costume that Aunt Terri made for Phillip when he was a little boy. And Aaron Freeman is next to Calvin, but I'm not sure what his costume is (Ann? B.J.? :) )

Now this photo just cracks me up. My mom has always loved having photos of her children and grandchildren taken, sometimes a little too much! ha ha! But this year she really wanted Halloween pics of everyone taken, and well, getting 10 people ready in costume and keeping them happy, yeah, not an easy task, as evidenced by the smiling and engaging faces above. Phillip was less than thrilled, being the 14 or 15 year old he is here. He was a punk sports fan or something. :)

Also pictured are:
bottom row: Dylan (clown), Kolby (devil), Cole (clown)
middle row: Lea (our mom a witch--that just sounds wrong lol!), Phillip, Rachel (me, also a witch)
top row: Sharlene (a witch, possibly the only smiley one in the pic!), LeeAnna (a fairy), Casey (a devil), and Calvin (the evil Freddy Krueger bunny).

I also wanted to include some cute photos of his little guy, a little dressed up. These are photos that I got off of Phil's facebook page, so they are ones that he loved.

 

                            I just love this pic of his son, he is so darling in this little outfit and giant grin!

 

                                                          in a bear jacket on vacation

                                                                    in a skeleton shirt


I wish Phil could be around this Halloween to take his little boy trick or treating, to pick out costumes in the future, and just enjoy the holiday he seemed to love so much as a little boy. But I'm sure he'll be looking down on his little guy smiling, wishing he too could be there.

Pets

Yesterday my kids were telling me gecko facts that they learned on "Animal Jam".

"A gecko has no eyelids, so they lick their eyes to keep them wet." they said

It took me back to Phillip and his geckos. We lived close to a pet store, a 5-10 minute walk. Phillip and I both loved to walk down to the pet store (B.J. provided the name for me! It was All Pet Complex!) and peruse the animals. I was much more into the rodents, and Phillip was into the lizards. He would gaze at the geckos, iguanas, turtles, spiders, snakes, etc. My mom was pretty open to all pets, excepts rats, mice, snakes, and spiders, but everything else we could have, and practically did have everything else. Those geckos were pretty cheap, tiny little green ones that I think we meant to be feeders for bigger animals. He bought quite a few of those, and they never lasted terribly long. He had an iguana for a few years as well. That thing was FAST! He inherited a turtle from somewhere, and the previous owner had fed it lunch meat regularly, so that turtle was a meat eater. Sadly that turtle ate one of his geckos. I still remember Phillip's sad crying face as he removed the half shredded gecko from the cage, cursing that darned turtle. He couldn't have been more than 10, maybe younger.

Once Phillip came home early from a birthday party. My mom was a bit surprised. Phillip said he had found a turtle on the way home, in the middle of the road. He was so excited and ready to find everything it needed to be his pet. He was in 1st or 2nd grade, I would guess. Not too long after though, the birthday boy's mom gave our mom a call. Her son's turtle was missing, and Phillip had left early. Yeah, lets just say he got in a little trouble, and did not get to keep the turtle as his pet. Maybe that's why later my mom got that turtle for him.

He really loved animals. We had a dog, a Husky mix, I think. Her name was Tinker, she was beautiful, white fur and blue blue eyes. She was a puppy and rambunctious, Phillip was in kindergarten and a rambunctious boy as well. One day before afternoon kindergarten he and Tinker were tearing around and well, I think her fingernail caught Phillip's ear and he ended up with stitches. I remember trying to find him after school to walk home with him, and he wasn't there, so I rushed home to see why he had not gone to school, and saw his bandaged up ear. He was a tough kid though, I don't remember much whining, I think he kind of wore it as a badge of pride.

Phillip also loved our other dogs, Muffin, Spunky, Cinnamon, and Shasta, among others. We had many much loved cats and kittens as well. We loved when our dogs and cats had puppies and he was always loving on them. We had a lot of puppies over the years, and Phillip and I were often the ones that would sit outside the grocery store trying to sell them for $5 each to anyone we could.

As he grew older he had other dogs that he just loved, I never met those dogs, but they were like his first kids, I hear. I do remember him telling me about how much he wanted a "rotty". I'm glad he got to have some, his Diablo and Cyrus, among other animals he had.

 

Phillip, Calvin and Shasta

 Phillip and Spunky

Phil and his dogs

 

 

Not every one is an animal person (sadly, I am not as much as I always thought I would be. lol), but Phillip sure was. He loved having someone to take care of and love, and love him back. He was good with those animals. I'm sure he's being his rambunctious self in heaven with many of them right now!

With love from Ann

"Dear Phil;
You were always Phillip to me, but Aaron told me I couldn’t call you Phillip anymore because you were all grown up. I didn’t get that. We loved that you could spend time at our house growing up. We wished we could have kept you for our own. When your family talked about moving, it tore me up. I couldn’t stand the thought of not seeing you every day. I shouldn’t have indulged your sweet tooth, but you got so excited when I bought Little Debbies or made zucchini brownies. I paid you slave wages to mow our lawn and other chores. You always jumped at the chance, and thrived at working hard. Obstacles like hay fever didn’t slow you down. I’m glad that you were such a good friend to B.J. over all those years growing up. I think you were good for each other. I didn’t realize you were still such a part of my heart until I lost you. I will always love you and miss you. Love, Honorary Mom, Ann"

Thanks

Thank you so much to all the people that came to our services for Phillip today. We are overwhelmed with the love shown for him and our family. Thank you for sharing your stories of Phil with us, for helping us prepare for all of this, and for being there for us at this difficult time.

We hope to continue updating this blog with memories of Phil and photos and such, if you have something you want us to share, please send us a message and we can post it for you!

Phillip Edward Thayer

Phillip Edward Thayer

3-3-80 to 8-30-11

Phil passed away in his sleep on 30 August 2011 in Idaho. He was born on 3 Mar 1980 in Pocatello, Idaho. He was adopted when he was one by Lea and Charles Thayer. He was raised in Sandy, Utah with his parents and seven siblings.

         Phillip was married to Stephanie Grundell on 17 June 2005 (divorced). His pride and joy, Xander was born on 22 November 2008. Xander was Phillip’s mini-me and his heart and soul.

         Phillip was a skilled mechanic and enjoyed barbecuing, fishing, smoking turkeys, and his rottweilers, Diablo and Cyrus. And of course, spending time with family and friends.

          He is survived by his son, Xander (and Stephanie). His parents, Lea Harding (Kent) and Charles Thayer, and Gabrielle Rollins (Jonathan). His many siblings: Heather Katsilas, Rachel Miller, Sharlene Fisher, Calvin Thayer, Casey Thayer, LeeAnna Thayer, Kolby Harding, Dominee Hall, Sascha Steadman, Jordan Steadman, and Clay Krumenacker. Also many nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles and his grandmother, Lee Patten (Sid), and countless friends. He also leaves behind his girlfriend, Rebecca and her children: Nate, Caleb, Sam, Dominik, and Kimbriana. He was preceded in death by his Grandpa Mac (Karleton McCutchen). 

         Funeral services will be held on Tuesday, September 6^th at 11:00 am at the LDS church on 390 E. Village Blvd in Stansbury, Utah. There will be a viewing prior to services, from 9:30-10:30 for family and friends. Interment at Tooele Cemetery immediately following services.  His final resting place will be near his Grandpa.

          In lieu of flowers, monetary contributions to cover costs are appreciated. An account has been set up at Zions Bank in his name to help cover costs and also to benefit his 2 year old son, Xander.